Genre Heretic Cage Matches!

So I asked folks on FB to list five things that were cooler than Dr. Who. Well! Wasn’t ready for all folks rushing to the Time Lords defence, and accusing me of having no taste! It was all in good fun, and lots of neat things emerged in the dialog, so I thought I’d extend it a bit.

Below is a list of five Things I love vs.  five things I like. I’m committing genre heresy everywhere, so call me the Genre Heretic!

1. Pro Wrestling vs. Joss Wheadon. I’m stoked for the Avengers, and I loved Buffy, but compared to the madcap joy of pro wrestling, the Wheadonverse was a passing fancy.  I’d rather watch any Wrestlemania with Doink the Clown in it than an episode of Doll House. And, no, Firefly was not great. It was good. That’s why Castle has had four seasons and not one. Hulk Hogan Leg drops the Lisping Talent for the 1-2-3.

2. Star Wars vs. Dr. Who. No contest. And I’m a historian! That said, I’m an old fan, I liked John Pertwee and Tom Baker and even Christoper Ecceleston, but while I enjoyed the other docs, I never saw an episode that compelled me to watch another. So, Chewie tears the docs arms off for this one. Though mad love for all the Companions for the good doc, I think the dark side of the force would trump a magic screw driver and a vanishing spaceship shaped like  homeless person’s toilet.

3. Conan the Cimmerian vs. Capt. Jack Sparrow. My wife loves the Pirates flicks, and I’ve enjoyed them more over time, but a little Jack Sparrow goes a long way. If forced into a fencing match with Robert E. Howard’s most famous creation, I think Capt. Jack would end up with his head on a platter in three panther-quick slices from the mad Cimmerian’s blade, and the Black Pearl would have a captain who would pray to CROM!

4. Howard vs. Lovecraft: perhaps the most contentious of the battles, since Lovecraft followers know spells! I do enjoy his short stuff, and “Color out of Space” is an amazing story, but if left to my druthers I’d rather be boxing with Steve Costagin, fighting wraiths with Solomon Kane, or running wild through Aquilonia than going mad reading a book in Rhode Island. Howard lands a knock out on the splendid recluse of Providence!

5. Spider Man vs. Batman: What can I say? As much as I like my heroes with a brooding intensity, old webhead’s fast mouth, weird powers, every day struggles, and cavalcade of villains and hot girlfriends trumps the lonely stoicism of Gotham’s defender. That said, looking forward to both flicks this summer, and it looks like the Spidy reboot might not be bad. While Nolan’s last Batman movie may be the movie to beat this summer, I’ll always champion the webslinger.

Here endith the lesson!

JSR

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About ridlerville

Jason S. Ridler is a historian, writer, and improv actor. He is the author of A TRIUMPH FOR SAKURA, BLOOD AND SAWDUST, the Spar Battersea thrillers and has published over sixty stories in such magazines and anthologies as The Big Click, Beneath Ceaseless Skies, Out of the Gutter, and more. He also writes the column FXXK WRITING! for Flash Fiction Online. A former punk rock musician and cemetery groundskeeper, Mr. Ridler holds a Ph.D. in War Studies from the Royal Military College of Canada. He lives in Richmond, CA. Visit him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/jason.ridler.56
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